I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
