I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
how does that bad decision feel?
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