these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
