i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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