i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
