I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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