yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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