went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
