he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
