I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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