The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
