You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize