Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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