either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
