google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize