can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
