I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
