Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
