Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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