Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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