So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
