he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
