it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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