Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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