Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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