i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
