Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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