Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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