Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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