Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
im six kinds of drunk right now
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
