From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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