took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
