i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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