wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
