does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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