One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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