wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
