So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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