do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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