1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
