Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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