Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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