sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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