I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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