I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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