He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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