LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
