That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's shark week go big or go home
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
