Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
