Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize