This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
