so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
They have beer where we have blood.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
