But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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