That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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