ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
