my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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