im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
