Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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