i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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