he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
