do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
