i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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