i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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