Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Who died my cat blue again?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize