I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
