dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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