How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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