PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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