the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
