My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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