I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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