I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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