yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
